Dont apologize. Its how you feel and you are not being selfish...seems to me you have been through alot!
You are as important as she is.
You have needs also...You need undertsanding and support as well...You are going through alot! and this is tough!!! You both will get through this and hopefully together.
We see that you needed to vent and thats fine! Now i know you love your wife and she loves you so im sure there is something you will be able to work out.
I understand your situation in a different point of view...i am not the supporter but the one with the problem (disrespful and abusive) and the one who has casued my husband so much pain time and time again in the past.
Read my thread "Losing the battle with myself" it was harsh.... only that i kicked myself down for everything i have done..
You are going through what my husband went through with me. So i can see how painful this is for you...I saw his pain every single day! I would know...and i am sorry she has made you feel this way. I know its not intensional and if it seems at times, i know she does not want you to leave!
Ask my husband how many times i have told him that i would divorce him!
Its hard, but its not impossible to get through it.