Grace, thank you. As I have said, I am struggling hard with religion. I have sat here and read the book of Job about 2 times. I don't know why Im drawn to this book of the bible, maybe I feel like Im being tested.

Grace, your words mean the world to me. The people on this forum are amazing.

< Removed political rant on who to vote for >

Everyone here who has offered to pray for me, I can't thank you enough. Im going on an op soon. An op that I have a bad feeling about. I find myself praying more, trying to regain my faith. I love God, I just fear the day I stand before him for judgement. When he looks into me and see's all I have done, I don't see how he can see how he can not send me to hell. I do what my country orders me to do. I do it with pride and am proud to serve my country. Grace, I am proud to serve you and every single person who has taken a moment of their time to reach out to me.

I am man enough to admit that I am fearful of what awaits me. I have the best training, the best equipment, and my team is a collection of the best men I have ever served with. I trust each of them with my life. I know each of them would die to protect me and I would die to protect each of them without hesitation.

People, this place, this forum, this is amazing. People come out and share themselves, put themselves out on display for others to analyze and give advice. Each and everyone of you is special. I wish I could help with the hurt people here have. When I return I will do my best to share my experiences to help people.

Again, just to name a VERY few special people who have helped me that I would like to personally thank.

Bailey'sEmT, your amazing, the time you have devoted to me. You have made me feel special, something I havent felt for a long time. You have spent so much time messaging me and sharing your own personal trauma.

Grace, I can honestly feel your caring from the way you wrote your response. You seem like an amazing person whom I would love to know more about.

SeeBeeVet, Hooah my brother!

Veiled and your help with Shamrock, it wasnt forgotten. Thank you so much.

Portabella, I can't thank you enough for offering an open ear. It means alot to me.

2Quilt, your words give me hope. Hope that I will be ok stateside.

Nie, Thank you for your prayer and putting me in your thoughts.

Kathy and SheCat. You both are dead on. This is something Im going to have to face head on eventually. I just can't lose my edge right now.

I wish I could take each of your pain.