First off there is a Carer group for you. Second, there should be a group for you for those who are married to vets with PTSD.

Yes, it is common for PTSD victims to snip in and out although not necessary. He may be disassociating, which might explain why he seems so different.

Second, when he disassociates you have to know that you are not with the man you know, eh. He is like living in the fear of death, he's in a different place and trying to get in their will just make it worse as you have found out. Quick advice, don't say anything if you can. Just go on with what you are doing and let him come out of it. Especially, don't try and make him come out of it, no no no. He will come out of it when he feels safe.

Third, certainly, additional stress like building a house which has wrecked more marriages than anything probably . . . but that just brought things to a head sooner.

Four, as the one with PTSD in my marriage, with a real irritable side, you have to be real careful about how you approach your husband. It's not fair I know but just a fact. You have to learn what his buttons are, and how not to push them.

Fifth, different bedroom. Sure, why not. You still love each other. Therapist told me once of a GI vet who could only sleep in a tent in the back yard. I myself have my place that I am in total control of. Only those I admit can come in. The instant I get that way, I tell them to leave or all hell breaks loose. Hey, I don't like doing it, but like your husband, if I snap I go from being mr. nice guy understanding, tell me your problems, to monster mother****er, i'm going to ****ing rip someones lungs out and piss on their heart. Course when I calm down I am absolutely horrified at what I've said and done. Damn PTSD.

Anyway, counseling for him and you, stay away when he snaps, let him come out of it, learn his buttons, try and keep stress down. I know this sounds all him, him, him. But he caught an illness called PTSD cause he went to fight for his country. Didn't want it. Didn't ask for it. He's out of control when he's snapped.

Let us know what happens.