I also consider myself a Christian. I'm baptized Catholic and I'm not especially a conservative Catholic, but I do believe in God and I think he wants only the best for me. I think he doesn't want me to suffer and that even though He is always taking care of me and watching out for me, I also have free will and I have to do some work on my end to take care of myself and do what I need to do to be a productive member of society. If I don't properly take care of my ptsd and other issues, I won't be able to do what He wants for me.