In the past, I have been most guilty of stigmatizing myself. I used to think those labels meant I was weak, defective, at fault, etc. Recently, I have not done this to myself. Yet I have been sensitive and on guard with people who might confirm these distortions. I've been careful and embarrassed to share my difficulties with my friends and co-workers. I think it is wise to be careful, but I shouldn't be embarrassed.

With my therapist, I even told her I feel stigmatized by the mental health profession. I thought her perceptions and expectations seem limited by my current diagnosis and previous history. I challenged her to step outside of her training and experience to a new experience- an experience of recovery beyond merely coping and managing the symptoms. Being heard and understood, I guess was an acknowledgement. However, being asked to ask her what she thinks before I assume I know, I was irritated. Although a fair request, there seemed to be no sense of shared responsibilty. Was it not possible the doc contributed in any way? It's aggravating to me that once I step into that office, my observations and interpretations become less valid, pathological, cognitive distortions.

It is what it is. What can I do about it? I can present to others a new experience which opens their minds. I can be a positive example which changes the negative associations given to a label. However, I can't do this until rid myself of those negative associations.