No. I did not post that I was considering suicide. Not what I was thinking at all. If you read through this thread you'll see what happened.
Anthony apparently mistook what I wrote as suicidal, and wrote some stuff that was embarrassing to me as a completely new person. I tried to clarify that I was not referring to suicide at all, just trying to describe what I felt, (in sort of a mix of writing out visual images and describing) and he took me the wrong way. I had read the rules, and I agree with them, I wouldn't break them!
basically this whole thing is my reaction to him telling me I'm playing the sympathy card, not posting openly and honestly, I'm in denial about wanting sympathy and that when others have not believed me or thought I was just trying to get attention by telling small parts of my "crazy" story they were telling me the same thing.
maybe he's right. I guess he must be. He knows a lot more that I do. I'm totally willing to look at that.
I'm upset that my first post got such a negative reaction. like i said earlier, it took a lot for me to write what i did. I didn't know what I was saying or feeling was wrong. or fishing for sympathy. or whatever.
now I know.