I am a Christian as well, I have really found my spiritual side since I opened up my heart to the holy spirit again. I think part of my healing was re-connecting with God and not blaming him for what happened to me but rather asking where he was at that time. I got my answer, he was right there with me, crying with me, pleading for help with me and he was sad and angry with me. That gave me comfort and the answer that I needed. We all have free will, the men who hurt me had free will to do that, God couldn't stop them but he could be there to hold me up afterward. He was always there for me I just couldn't see or feel it because I pushed him away, or so I thought. He was just waiting for me to come back and open up my heart to him again.