Hey!

I am new to threapy and the diagnoses of PTSD. My PTSD was also due to childhood abuse etc etc.

I wish I could give you a magic wand to wave.....

I lost my partner which I feel is partially down to PTSD! We are still in love and he tries to support me but has been damaged by my previous actions - I guess many people with PTSD have aqcuired dysfunctional coping mechanisms that all seem to have a major emphesis on self-protection/destruction. I have put those two words together because I certainly have protected myself from so much that I have pushed away that which I did not need protecting from, but because the things that I was threatend by required trust and love it triggered my fear thus, my wall of protection.

I think you sound like a wonderful caring person with qualities that are so important to be surrounded by - I guess the old addage ' you can't help someone until they are ready to help themselves' comes into mind. I can be self-destructive and have wobbles (as I call it!). Only I can understand why and learn to stop that.

Everyone is an individual and will respond differently to therapy etc but it definitley tests you in ways that I would certainly like to avoid - but it must be done! I am no longer with my partner but I do have him as support and a good friend - I would love to share this journey with a loved one but I am not sure if there is room or whether it would be healthy for them - you just can't guarantee how you will feel from one day to the next until you have started to absorb new coping strategies and employed them.

I don't belive that you can't be with a loved one and come through this I just imagine that there will be a lot of hurt and anguish - real patience and acceptance of how this may go at times is key - but the person with PTSD alos must take responsibilty for ones actions, both of these are difficult depending on where a person is and whether they are TRULY ready to heal!

Read, read, read, read is the only advice that I feel would be objective enough to give - knowledge is power!!! However, this journey needs to be majoritly travelled by your 'one', as you have highlighted you cannot do it for him - all of the undoing has to be done by him!

Acceptance is the hardest biggest step as many people have lived in denial for so long!

Be kind to yourself first so that you can continue to give your wonderful love!

PTSD feels so sh*t sometimes as we have been denied the very things that we are now denying ourselves....LOVE!

I hope he finds acceptance and love for himself!

Spirit x