to Anthony: thinking, thinking, thinking...

to Sunnydaze & Johnathan: I'm glad other people understand what I felt like at the beginning of this thread.

I'm sorry this is bothering you sunnydaze, and that this forum is depressing, I feel the same way, but I gather that is part of the point of this forum, not to be depressing exactly, but to face your fears and problems and "push" yourself to get through the pain for a better future life. I'm with you.