Hi Rachel

I really don't think it matters how you got PTSD.

If it hurts, 'it hurts'. It's not how you got it that matters. I think most people here know that it can be caused by any number of things. The point is that we all either have PTSD, or know someone who has it. We know how 'crap' it is.

The main thing to realise is that 'it's not your fault' (I still struggle with this). Whatever happened, happened; and you are here, amongst people that understand. You are not a bad person. You didn't 'ask' for any of this. You are here to help yourself. Whatever choices you made, where right for you at the time.

Your own pain is 'fair', because it hurts 'you'. End of story.

You are not rambling and you do make sense.

Take care, Cherry