So basically I've come to a compromise in my mind about this whole thing.
Anthony, you're right, I do want sympathy to some degree, I think that's natural, though I agree it probably doesn't do me any good.
But that was not the motivation behind my original post. I was venting.
"Venting is venting... usually comes with history I guess or people say, "I am venting" because the written word here is not the same as saying it face to face, no emotion passed in written context so you need to be quite expressive and outline emotion to words ensuring a reader understands. I would say it is impossible to master, though definitely achievable to get right the majority of the time. I guess its one off those things that comes with writing online." (sorry whoever's editing, I still havent figured out quoting yet)

I've never been involved in a forum, never even spent much time online, so I don't know the etiquette etc. That's why I kept saying "I just wrote about what I feel!!"; I didn't get why MINE got rejected.

Your reply was kind of nasty, and it hurt, but I get the feeling I shouldn't hold my breath for an apology or anything. I respect what you're doing here very much, but what happened here was pretty much my worst nightmare about writing this stuff in public come true.

I have to write this all out bc I have a super intense reaction to not being truly heard, to being misunderstood; I'm sure that's from all these years of trying to get people to understand what happened and is still happening to me, and no one until very recently REALLY HEARING ME. So I'm sorry everyone for this long, drawn-out crap fest.

My sincerest prayers of healing to EVERYONE here.
the end.