Tara, I have no issue is saying sorry to you, sorry. I call it as I read it, I accept that. You don't have to worry about others understanding here, as trauma is their world, my world, we have all suffered in our own unique and individual ways. But here is the best thing from this Tara. You now accept that sympathy has done you no favours. My exact aim then is achieved, because within a few pages you understand it has not helped you, most likely only hindered your progress actually.... so that is the positive you have gained already from being here, and yes as unfortunate a little pain can be, by me poking you about it you have found this now yourself. I nor another can solve your problems, but you can be pushed in the right direction to find things yourself, which only then will you understand and adapt to your healing journey. For that Tara, well done.... short time here and you learnt a very good positive.... sympathy does not help our PTSD.