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Originally Posted by anthony  I beg to differ.... its not about "intentionally" playing a game with you, it is through severe anxiety that you feel the ups and downs, which you likely perceive as playing games. I have done similar things before, I know many personally who have PTSD and have done similar things also within relationships. Its not because they wanted too, they just didn't know which way was up a lot of the time. When anxiety calmed you will likely see the rational them, when their anxiety is peaking you will likely see the not so rational them.... which can easily be viewed in a relationship as "playing games." |
Granted it can be perceived as "playing games," but as you said it was far from intentional. I don't prescribe to the idea that "Someone is a game playing jerk, therefor they have PTSD." This goes back to our discussion on mis-diagnosis and confusing symptoms. Based on the information we have, we can't say for sure that his behavior is due to PTSD or something else. I've been romantically involved with someone who was diagnosed as borderline and I empathized with what she wrote.
The key phrase in her post was "stormy relationship" as well as descriptions of him pulling her close, pushing her away, then repeating. This is what Borderlines are known for. Check out the DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder, especially numbers 1,2, 6, and 9
DSM IV Criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder:
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
7. chronic feelings of emptiness
8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms