About a year after my trauma had "ended," I was in college and my friends and I decided to try 'shrooms. I had done pot quite a bit in high school, and never had any real neg. effects. Anyway, the shrooms were a whole different story.

When they started taking effect, I didn't know where I was, and my brain started to re-live the trauma...but times 20! I tried to jump out the window--NOT b/c I wanted to commit suicide or anything--but I just needed "fresh air" and an escape...and (while on the drugs), I somehow thought this was a good option.

Luckily I had two amazing friends who got me through the night. I remember one friend trying to get me to recall "happy" memories, and this seemed to help. Unfortunately, the next day it was quite obvious that something was "wrong" with me, and many who had witnessed the scene on the dorm floor could figure out that I had been raped at some point in my life. At this time I wasn't ready for anyone to know about my past, not even my closest friends, yet I was pretty much forced to confront the situation.

So, that being said, I haven't done any (illeagal) drugs since, and I HIGHLY warn against them for anyone..esp. someone with PTSD!

nic