Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathy  As Upstream mentioned, often there is codependency involved. The partner without PTSD has a strong desire to help, fix, rescue, care for, or even control the PTSD sufferer. It gives them a sense of purpose in life, makes them feel important or needed. Unfortunately, if this is the case and the sufferer does get help for themselves and heals, the relationship inevitably comes to an end, as the non-PTSD partner no longer has someone to help or control. This is why it is so essential for both partners to be in therapy of some sort and heal simultaneously. It cannot be a one way street if the relationship is to survive long term. |
It is far more likely that a co-dependent person will leave their partner because they are emotionally drained than because their partner healed. This was the case in every co-dependant relationship I have ever witnessed or heard of. Two reasons...
1) often times the sufferer (whether it's someone who has PTSD, an abuser, an alcoholic, etc, etc) is enabled by the co-dependent person and has no reason to get better
2) just because someone heals doesn't mean you don't love them any more
Also I don't agree with it being about a sense of purpose or feeling needed. Regardless of what unresolved issue caused the initial attraction, a co-dependent person in a long term relationship will likely tell you that they are in love and care deeply for the other person.
And as many have pointed out, you have no idea that someone is ill when you are first getting to know them. I don't know of any co-dependent person that goes searching for an abuser.