Hello, I'm back. My last post was the typical end-of-the-world maudlin droning. I've had attacks of depression and flashbacks and suicidal screaming attacks, while everything is cranking up for the autumn. I've taken several of my emergency tablets which knock me out like a zombie.

Piglet, I find the autumn term daunting. It's so long, and the weather worsens and the days shorten. I know what you mean about succumbing to the demons and fearing that that's it 'I've had it'. I hope you can pull through.

Wildfirewildone, thanks for your thoughts. I know I make a habit of it, and it was wrong to just disappear for days. I can't just pick and choose psychodocs. In the NHS, you're lucky to get anything. The service is shockingly bad. Quality psychiatrists are rare. A lot of them blame you or get impatient when you still have the symptoms which don't fit their neat agendas. I can't go shopping for a doctor. I have to take what's there. I've just so sick of it after so many years.

As for therapy - I already had C.A.T. which is the latest trend. I'd never even heard of exposure therapy before coming on this site. I wouldn'y be able to have more therapy because I've had my ration. This is the absolute worst time of year for me anyway, I feel it's just too dangerous to contemplate. I just want someone to hug and feel connected to. I just want to be filled up with that feeling, because I've talked my arse off so much for so long and I haven't had any physical contact for more than ten years. I just have to find a way to cope over the next few months. Things are a lot better than before I was on the internet though. Thanks everyone for being out there. :redface: