Hey Jen,

Good to hear that you are heading off to VVCS for some help. It is good to talk to someone, non-judgmental, about what is going on at home. I agree that your migraines are probably stress related. Have you considered acupuncture? I know some people think it is all hocus-pocus but I found a good practitioner there in Townsville who helped me fall pregnant (Alexander is now 16 months old) and helped me maintain my health while pregnant. He was aware, generally, of the stress I was under and I suspect that he also managed to treat me for that a little. Anyhow, it worked for me.........the guys name is Michael Dare, the Zen Den in Flinders St West.

Sleep is generally an issue for those with PTSD - either not enough or no quality sleep or they need to sleep to feel better. Anthony used to do that quite a bit and he needs to during the day which he is usually the better for. Nightmares can be an issue with some people avoiding sleep or it just interrrupts a normal nights sleep - if there is such a thing for them. Anthony does still have nightmares which I have learned to gently wake him from as he would probably go on like that all night.

Jen, its good that you have a daughter home to talk to but do you have anyone else? Aside from VVCS there is also a group called Partners of Veterans Association it might be worthwhile contacting them also. The ladies that I met before we left Townsville seemed like a lovely bunch, just dealing with living with someone and PTSD. It may be obvious and if you have been married for 20 years you may not be used to or inclined to but you need to look after you first. VVCS is a good step. They will probably tell you the same thing anyhow.

As for the business, if you let him, he probably will overwork himself. Like I said, it is a form of escapism for them but the stress is often just too much for them to handle. Never mind the fact that they are male and ex-military where their pride is often bigger than Ayers rock. God forbid they admit that it IS too much for them and that they either need a rest or some help. Life would be easier!! If you can ignore his criticisms and get on with the business, he will appreciate your help, even if he doesn't admit it. They are responsible for their own care but if you can see they are being silly about something, sometimes you have to step in. I have had to do it with Anthony before and still do occasionally if he is having a bad day. I make him get up, have a shower, encourage him to eat and sometimes drag his sorry ass out the door for exercise. Sounds like treating him like a child but it is not that, I can see he is unwell and I know (most of the time) how much scope I have into pushing him to do something for his own good. If he gets upset, I back of and let him be.