I don't believe anyone could tell you either unless physically standing in front of you and watching your behaviour. Your describing some pretty ugly aspects of medication though, which says to me you need to maybe seek another physician considering yours obviously brushed you aside by informing you they will deal with your overdosing at a later date. Sounds like a doctor that doesn't give a shit IMHO. Sorry, but this physician meets my exact criteria of a doctor who should not have a license to practice medicine with such flagrant disregard for a patients overdosing when approached by it.