Ok, so I've been having REALLY bad nightmares for a couple of weeks now. I've tried taking ativan, and while that puts me to sleep, I still have the nightmares. I've tried sleeping during the day (since I typically have worse PTSD at night), but I've been getting them even when it's light out. The worst part is that once I'm fully awake, I can't remmeber the nightmare, only that it was really bad :-( Therefore, I can't do any analysis to put the nightmare in perspective, and I now fear going to sleep. Last week wasn't too bad because I was on vacation, but now I have work again, and I need to get up at 5:30 every morning. I'm so tired in teh morning; my body just feels spent.

Anyway, I wrote this poem about nightmares...maybe you all can relate...

"Nightmare"

I dip beneath the quilts,
blissfully ignorant of the notes of suspense
that crescendo--
Overwhelming the senses
my limbs struggle to break free from
the roots which hold them down into
suppression
molested by the elements
so unnatural and obtrusive to the
nature of man:
an offense to the gods.
I search like a medicine man
hoping to find a cure for this reality
of circumstance that foreshadows
the outcome of my life
in this dream-like kingdom of
midnight madness.