I forgot to add this yesterday. When Jim was still drinking, and then when was in the early stages of recovery, there was a period of about 4 years where he was often emotionally unavailable to me. Also physically unavailable, as he was constantly attending AA meetings and/or socializing with his AA friends. I had 4 small children at the time and so I could only attend Al-Anon once weekly. It was quite frustrating and lonely. However I did learn through Al-Anon to rely on my support network when my husband was not available to me.

Another lesson I learned in Al-Anon which I find invaluable to this day, is to regularly do nice things for myself. Whether that be visiting with friends, buying myself a gift, going to a yoga class or even just having a bubble bath - I have learned that I can enjoy myself and have a nice time apart from my husband. He is very good now, we are very close, however we still have our separate interests and activities, which we enjoy apart from one another. My interests and activities, as well as my friends, are very important to me to fall back on.