If my husband called my doc he would likely get no where also. Only reason he sits in sometimes is to address our issues as a couple resulting from PTSD symptoms. I choose too allow my husband in and when he is in things my doctor is privy to is not discussed but he encourages me to talk to my husband about some of it on my own, whether I do is something else. To get advice to help with ya'll your husband would have to be willing to let you come in and let doc know ya'll need help as a couple dealing with PTSD, but not so many visits that it interfers with trauma therapy. We only go in together occasionally, like a tune up.

What you describe your husband doing doc probably would not give you much advice except explain to you, as you can find here, it is stemming from PTSD and its ups and downs. That it happens and can be common. You cannot fix it and do not try. It will have to play out and when he is ready he can come to you about it. My doc simply explains to my husband how my mind perceives things and how it works so to say. He explains it in a way my husband gets and tells him to don't try to fix it it, guys like to "fix stuff" and he just cannot. During an episode, my doc would tell him to back off and let it ride out. If there was some way to wave a wand or a few magic words to turn that off we would all be in line for it. All doc is going to do is help you understand that and that when an out burst happens it is not excusable behavior but expected none the less. It is not personal even though you sure as hell seems like it to ya'll. How could it not?

But no, you are not going to be able to just call up doc and expect them to do something, they can't. Not only due to confidentiality, but they just cannot during it... Just make sure you mention to your husband to mention it to his doc so it can be discussed. I would also ask your husband to talk to his doctor about helping ya'll a little with the relationship, ie what would be the best response for you to have during that and to calm your fears.

I carry a lot of guilt having it and having so much emphasis put on me and this crap. I feel greedy, like I am getting more than my fair share. My doc works on that as spouses can feel that way too about their partener. My doc compares it to cancer. It is real, it is debilitating, it is an illness like any other that can ruin you, and it is not selfish to try and get the proper treatment to get as well as you can.