I have finally talked with a therapist about everything, he thinks it would be a good idea to kinda let me hair down. I think this is the best forum for me. I was recently brought stateside for political reasons. This country amazes me. I drive around and it's like noone realized there is a war going on. American men and woman, my brothers and sisters are losing their lives every day, EVERY DAY. Has anyone attended a random funeral of a soldier they didn't know? You don't have to know the soldier, just know that he gave his life, his or her life, to save yours. It means the world to the soldiers famalies when strangers show up and show genuine compassion. Ok, enough of my tirate.

I am in my mid 30's and am in the military. My PTSD is active. Very active. Something will happen and it will haunt the little sleep I get. I gave up my family for some form of vindication after 9-11. I could have been out of the military then but I re-upped and then they dangle the career carrot in front of you and of course I took it hook line and sinker.

At times I don't feel human. I feel like an animal that gets unleashed when other elements fail an objective. I think a huge part of my PTSD stems from watching my children grow up without me. When I recently came stateside they didn't even recognize me. Anyway, this post will probably be deleted so Im not going to share anymore.......