Nicolette,

Thank you for bringing about this point.

In an endeavor to try and understand the people we love, we're often neglected. We're left drained and feeling hopeless. It's difficult to create a balance when the situation itself is already so imbalanced. We all need support, a listening ear, and sometimes a really big hug. I know I'd love one right now.

And, your point about rationalizing our own neglect is interesting. I think we do it because we truly want to understand and help. To me, it almost becomes addictive. Which becomes the problem. We think that if there was something more we could do, a little more we could learn, or understand, that it would somehow help the situation. To see someone so crippled by an illness - that's just so difficult to grasp.

I think what nyc meant regarding making assumptions regarding co-dependent or dysfunctional relationships is that we may even conclude to ourselves that there has to be something unhealthy going on to *want* to stay in such an imbalanced relationship. Because, in the end - isn't it about how much one person can take? If one keeps giving, the other keeps receiving, even putting up with abusive behaviors, well, that *is* unhealthy. But making such statements is by far easier said than done. Because, when love is involved - there's is a price. But, how much is too much?

Pastrychef, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I can't remember which thread you posted it on, but, please feel free to email me, as well. It can be difficult meeting new people (and trusting). I moved here close to two yrs ago, and didn't know a soul. To this day, I spend more time of the phone with my friends back home than out trying to meet new people. I just don't have the energy anymore!