I am glad you got a laugh. I guess I have to laugh at it too, I was a bit pissy wasn't I last night! But I also laugh when I think about a hamburger my ex gave me that I threw across the room years ago because they forgot to put cheese on it. (before I knew what PTSD was or that I had it) or mowing cell phones and the sort. At least this last phone I ran over was an accident.

I am very happy for you and your move, you convey so much excitement and that is great how involved you are ready to be! I say get a bird feeder for your window sill if you can.

I saw my regular therapist and he seemed to be on the same page as I am about the xanax, I can do this without. He could not contradict her advice to stay on it, and I told him I got that but I wanted to know if he personally thinks I could do this without the xanax? I just wanted his personal opinion since he sees me all the time. He said I was a very tenacious woman and was very impressed as he has a hell of a time getting people off of it, and yes he thought I could and would probably benefit more in therapy without it. But the zoloft... I guess I am not coming across or doing as well as far as depression goes as I hoped. He agreed with the upped dose. He is not an advocate for medications but sees sometimes they are needed and right now I guess I am in that catagory. I can come off further in treatment, just not now. So that in it self is a bit of a downer for me.

He seemed surprised she did not prescribe sleeping pills, but I doubt I would have taken any even if she did. I mean Zoloft, Xanax, and sleeping pills just does not seem like a bright idea IMO to combine. But I went and bought a Mozart CD (love him) since I could not locate a celtic CD I have replaced 3 times wearing it out. Very relaxing one I played during my last childs birth at home to ease me. E bay here I come... I also got some type of music CDs in new age by some doctor claiming to stimulate delta waves 15 yrs research for it yada yada... To help me sleep and one for stimulating Alpha waves for relaxing during the day. We will see if it is bogus or not. And picked up the book Feeling Good by David Burns, it wasn't the handbook but the normal one and since there I said screw it and got the handbook with exercises in it, figure why not? Doc said he wants me to read it and it looks like it may be promising, will let ya'll know if it one to run out and buy ha ha.

Then went out to eat with hubby alone... ummm in years maybe? So between the drive, 2 doc appointments 2 days in a row, book store, and an eatery I am a flipping wreck... Not to mention some tattooed guy showing up at my door today. Not that I have a thing against tats, I have plenty hidden, but he was scary looking, took an hour to calm and never answered the door. I am getting a vulger no soliciting sign and maybe the beware sign like on here, I have seen them before. I told hubs I need to be further in treatment to handle stranges showing up on my step, that was one of the points of moving to the country after all, being away from people.

And my husband is a turd. A good one though. He told me on the way to the doc I was perfect. I look baffeled and why I ask? Because I am frigging nuts enough to have to see a shrink one day and another head doc the next and be medicated? Sounds really perfect. He said it is like this, all women are crazy, but you are seeking help... He promptly got nailed in the arm and he laughed with an I love you. Turd.

I guess that is how he gets by, he has a sense of humor with even the worst crap. I wish I had his outlook, I am lucky to have him, he agrees...