Hi, I'm new to the forum. Have been searching for quite a while for something like this to help me understand the PTSD of someone I've been dating.

Met a wonderful guy who I started dating several months ago. The first time we met he advised that he had been the victim of a violent crime in the past year. Somewhere along the way early on (I don't remember exactly when) he said that because of this he suffers from PTSD now. No details were given, and he was so matter of fact about it that I didn't dwell on it, but tried to be reassuring.

Things went along very well and we continued to have what I felt was very normal interactions. That is until after the holidays when the perpetrator of the crime (a former friend who was high on drugs) tried to contact him. While not giving details, he let me know that he might be "up and down" for a while. Add to that around the same time a chance encounter with someone who had road rage and a prior date who kept calling his home number repeatedly after they broke up. I still didn't really understand.

That's when the "different" behavior started. Texting and calling slowed to a minimum, and we got together less frequently. I finally contacted him and asked if things were ok with us and offered to back off if it turned out he wasn't interested any more. Instead, what he said was that he was dealing with "issues" - the email from the person who assaulted him, the road rage, etc...and it caused him to withdraw by himself and he didn't want me to see him when he was not "100%". I guess I understood but at the same time I didn't. He also admitted that he was on depression medication.

Things came to a head shortly thereafter when he would make plans for us to get together to do things, but then would back out of them. I finally confronted him about one of these times when I knew he wasn't telling the truth. He became very offended and said we should take a break. I agreed, and have tried to be respectful of space. I called once and left a message, and sent an email too in the period of a month and a half. No response to anything.

I know now in looking back that he was apparently shielding me from the times he was probably dealing with PTSD. I just didn't understand it enough, and wouldn't have confronted him about it if I knew then what I knew now.

So my question is, I'm still trying to understand how PTSD works. Is something like this typical? What is he going through? Can someone overcome this by themselves, or do they have to be in therapy? Should I continue to contact him every so often (like once a month or so) to just say hi, or do I just hold back and wait for him, or chalk it up to a learning experience and walk away? (I really don't want to do the last option)

I've read so many thoughtful posts by folks on here who are so knowledgeable. I'm anxious to learn more and here what people have to say.