Thank you for the replies. much appreciated.
I definately need to be aware if my needs and wether or not they can be met in this relationship. My BF and I had a really good talk this a.m. He apologized over and over for disconnecting. I know it's something he had to do in order to get through a recent major stressor. He said he is just trying to get through day by day. He told me that I have been his rock, his main support and that he thinks I am an amazing person. He also said he can't make promises for the future and that he is still disconnected. I told him that he needs to communicate in some way to me so that I can work with what he's going through. he agreed. He still wants me in his life (in what capacity I'm not sure) and to keep frequent contact with him. It feels good to tell him what I need even if I don't talk about all that has gone on with me right now. He wants to know, but I am patient and will tell him when he's a little more connected. Thankfully he is beginning to see the light at the end of a very long tunnel. It's not over, and I know that this is a life long process. It has really forced me to deal with my own issues, and for that I am grateful (though it's really hard). I am strong and I know that I can't let myself down most of all. I don't know what the future holds....but all of your support and advice helps me to keep my witts about me. I'm so glad I found this site. Thanks again.
Saira