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Originally Posted by Nicolette  A 'Carer' may need to accept that the 'Sufferer' may not always be available but a 'Sufferer' needs to learn to try and verbalise this somehow so the 'Carer' can understand. Some of what I have read here refers to a 'Sufferer' just checking out of the relationship, which I guess is fine if that is what they need to do for their illness, but they also have to be fair to the 'Carer' and tell them it is due to the PTSD so a 'Carer' has an understanding. A relationship is a two way street. |
Well said. A relationship takes two. Sometimes people, regardless of PTSD are selfish and just want things their way. If you set boundaries and commend respect, the communication will follow, which is only fair and the sufferer realises it makes their life easier too.
As someone who has experienced and gained a lot ( good and bad) in relationships I can only say this, Yes PTSD makes things difficult for a relationship, but so do a lot of things. How difficult depends on how maturely you approach it and how honest you are with yourself about what you want from the relationship. Both parties need to be wanting the same thing. You have to want someone first and foremost, not NEED them. Need comes after want.
You can form a healthy and supportive one if the communication is there. You shouldnt be kept wondering all the time and you can't confuse your sufferer deliberately -- no games. Depending on the type of PTSD, depending on the maturity level of both parties it can be an amazing thing.
The danger of getting involved with the sufferer through guilt and compassion will place damage on you. You should be looking out for yourself, because if you are not strong, you 'aint no good to no body.
Be careful about getting compassion confused with intimate care and love. No one can save anyone except themselves, no one should feel sorry for sufferers, they should be loved like the next person, but a relationship is equal parts responsibility, or there is actually no point.