I've had extremely bad experiences with telling people. I ended up hospitalized one night and called two 'friends.' One took me home the next day and got in my face and proceeded to tell me what a 'victim' I was, that I just needed to look people in the face, go for walks, go back to work (always abusive bosses), and I'd be fine. Don't get triggered at home, save it for therapy.......she had all the 'answers.' My therapist said, Wow, what compassion. I've since cut her out of my life.

My ex just couldn't wait until my healing was over. Yelled at me that I was the only one who could let it go and needed to do it ASAP. He's gone.

Another younger "friend" claims she knows all about emotional problems because her mom, whom she can't stand, is emotionally screwed up and tries to kill herself for 'attention.' She constantly tells me to 'can't you reframe that?" Etc. etc. Very condesending.

At this point I only talk with my therapist. Two years in now. She is the only one I've ever trusted. Is always there for me.

Most days, on breakfasts with neighbors, in idle chat while walking, I feel like exposing my wrists and telling the world about the evil I've been subjected to, about the injustice in the medical and SSD system, about the judgements I've endured. Sometimes I do, just to shock them out of their own little petty complaining realities. But I find that it isolates me even more.

I'm writing a book. Vets at least get some sympathy. Cancer patients get support and love..........we get blamed. So unfair, the continued injustice. I'm writing a book to tell people how crappy they all are. What will heal us is love, instead we get condemnation. No one wants to hear or see such pain, makes them too uncomfortable. My ex- said my 'friends' were trying to help me. Blamed me again, like I've failed or something.

Most days, I consider myself alone on the planet and that's OK.