[quote=spiritofnow;61724]Samsara,

How long to BB and you meet? We meet in 8 weeks in Asia.
How are you feeling after your honesty with your mother? Yeah I'm really glad about it. I know I only told her to save myself the struggle of doing it later. I kind of wish she would be more of a girlfriend about it. Mum's are such almighty judges, and I don't mean that is a negative way, they are the high priestess, and I wish her blessing didn't consume me so much. I take comfort knowing that she knows me, and wants me happy. I get concerned that she knows me, and my other side, which can be irrational and rebellious -- though wisdom seems to have dissipated the rebellion in me, funny how life does that. I now no longer feel like I would do anything for love. Inner peace on the other hand, well now I've gotten close to that one, I'm staying on full guard.

How are you feeling concerning the 'drink issue'?

I've been concerned and then not. He seems happy, yeah he's drinking a fair bit I think, but he's 24, works in a ski resort and just seems to be being young. I know a lot of 24 year olds without PTSD who drink a lot. Basically, I can't let that bother me right now unless he is self medicating.1. I don't have the energy, 2. It's not bothering me, 3. I'll wait until we are together to properly assess it and address it then. AND 4. The most important, he doesn't shut me out any more, those barrages of texts a few weeks back were not shut outs, but cries for help and friendship. He needed to find someone to off lay some of his loneliness. And he wants professional help when he gets settled. We've discussed it all and he's promised that He will let me know when he is getting weird.

In summary:
I wakeup to a text from him every week day.
I usually hear from him a few times a day.
I got weird last week, I wasn't sure entirely why and didn't want to bring it up and he sensed it and addressed it maturely and sincerely. I was really impressed. He made me realise stuff I didn't even know. It was quite a role reversal compared to recent months. It was good for me too -- knowing that he understands me and my connection to him and how it is affected. And how to make me feel good when I'm down.
He really proved himself there, and I wasn't testing him either. He's challenging himself to be a better man than he was yesterday. And I fall deeper. Something really amazing has happened to him in the past year -- he says it's me, which is sweet but something more, he wants it all enough to fight away the bullshit. I will share my poem up here at some stage when I am ready. I'm not sure as I supposed to be getting it published.
Anyway this is a recent text: Sums it up.

"I keep getting flashes of inspiration that tell me it's all gona come full circle, for once in my life. I've never met anyone quite like you before, as the song goes..."