He's fallen down again! The good thing about our regular 10 texts a day, is that the silence is a warning signal for him. He's been enjoying the distraction of the messages. There is about 10 texts in each text!

I'm not freaking out this time. He told me straight up and explained where he's at, and he's been texting me all day since. They are nice texts, he doesn't seem as freaked out and mentioned that he's going to surround himself with positive people and stay in contact with me until he's relaxed enough to sleep. That sounds better than the other times, like he sounds like he's making some internal progress for sure. Though he's still on about how this self loathing thing he has makes him want to be a better man, that it's his way for now, but somehow he will work out a better way. He says he just stares at his beer and thinks, tryingto work it out (the axiety I think).
But he's not shutting me out, he sounds like he's dealing with it really well, in his own way. We just gotta be patient so he can get to Australia and finally deal with this shit head on. He seems very ready, just practicalities getting in the way, damn those things!

My mum was right on the money, and to be honest, I had been thinking about the whole drinking thing, but there aint much I can do about it, he's in Canada for christsake! I mentioned today quite passionately that he's gotta soon work out how to curb these drinking binges, I know a lot of this is because he's been drinking too much and alcohol being the depressant it is, combined with all the emotional toxins he's suppressing, and he was extraordinarily in high spirits this week so I was just waiting for him to fall down again -- I knew he'd start to question why things were getting better for him and convince himself it was actually falling apart. Anyway, he DOES sound a lot better than last time, seems he's reaching out for both support and a distraction, says it makes him feel better to think of me.

I'm just really glad and comfortable that he is communicating with me, that he is not shutting me out, I mean he does not want to pick up the phone, but that's OK, he will in time. Or else time will have him find the right therapist once he gets out here.

He says he will speak to me later tonight, I hope he does, but I'm OK if he doesn't either. I've got my own stuff to concentrate on!

If anyone else reading this wants to comment, your own experience or questions/tips regarding mine, please do!

Spirit, I'll go check your journal in a bit and see how you are doing gorgeous.