Thank you for your words of encouragement.

I know I have to not lose Faith that there are people out there who are compassionate and able to show that compassion. And I'm telling myself I will be able to trust again someday.

Yes, they definately had their own issues and they ended up dumping them all over me. It just hurts so badly that they all are talking amoungst themselves about me, what they must be saying about how 'flawed' I am. My T says I just have to put another huge loss in the past and forgive. I've so much forgiving to do. I pray and list names and write for hours and hours, forgiving. They say you can't 'try to forgive,' and that its something that you either do or don't do.

I'm a biologist, not working now because i'm so afraid of yet another abusive, sexually harassing boss. They judge me for that too. My brain feels so different than it used to, all the drugs, the stress. I'm triggered by so many things.

Are we the 'chosen' ones? I forgive. I choose to forgive. Please, all of your pray for me to help me forgive and heal.

I was battered horribly for years. My father was the embodiment of evil, I believe. But I forgive. So hard to forgive someone who has effected my life like this. But I'm sick of all this anger in me. Sick of the horrible fantisies of revenge. I want so badly to let go and move on with MY life.
Thank you for your true words..........thank you for letting me tell.