Welcome Michael. We hope that you find some answers here.
Can you tell us exactly what your memories are? What actually is causing the
fear that you describe? All of us here totally understand the fear, as we have
felt it.

When you first got diagnosed with biopolar disorder, what were your symptoms
that initated you to get help? Could they have misdiagnosed you? Or, could
you be unlucky enough to have both? Just a few questions to ponder.

I do hope that you get the help you need.