Believe me, we have been taught how to please others over ourselves. I'm so good at making others comfortable and happy, and I seem to choose the ones who don't give anything back. Infantile love is what most people seem capable of.....But I"m choosing to believe there are people out there who really are capable to true, unselfish compassion. And I don't have to give up myself and my rights to get some of that compassion.

I don't think you are selfish at all. You have enough to deal with, let alone piling that on you.

I would take this from this forum what is helpful, inspiring and supportive, and (as they say in AA) leave the rest. No need to upset that little girl in you any more than she's already been upset.
I've read a lot of your postings, and if you're anything like me (more mature) your life has had enough of doubting yourself and your goodness.

You are good, probably more good than a lot of people.