When I was 8, the neighbors would jerk off my dog, place me underneath him naked, and let him hump me.

When I was 8, they tied me to posts, stripped, and the boy would hump me naked, I could feel the slime of his cum on my body, then they'd cover me with garter snakes. I never even cried.

When I was 9, they'd excite their stallion and make me jerk it off.

Constant 'sex' games of capture and submission. I don't even remember most of them, but it was constant.

When I was nine, they made me stand on the other side of a large haystack and throw bricks over, I was held down while they laughed. Finally one hit me in the eye, blood everywhere. I ran home and my father got mad at me.

When I was 10, I watched my father try to straggle my mother.

Throughout, after age nine, I was left alone with him while my mother worked. He terrorized me while I would do chores, follow me and beat and kick me if I didn't do it with a smile on my face. I stopped feeling anything long ago.
My mom would come home and go into radical hysterics when I told her. She was only concerned that she was tired from her day and hated coming home to this. She'd lock my in my room.

I was 11 and 49 pounds, bones hurting me in the bathtub, no one noticed. I started dipping into their scotch, replacing it with water.

Anorexic and bulmic off and on my whole life.

Started 'offering' myself to grown men in the nieghborhood when I was 11, don't know why.

When I was 12, he backed me into a wall when I didn't fold up the paper for my mom with a smile on my face. He punched me so hard, I had black lips for days.

When my grown brothers and sisters (5 of them) would come 'home' periodically, there would be fist fights and cops called. All because they had voted republican.

I can remember banging my head violently against the wall while in my bedroom, somehow thinking this would stop all the yelling, punching and chaos.

Had a flashback recently, think I was a toddler,not able to walk, chaos everywhere around me, fighting and screaming. I'm left on the floor, crying, can't get away. I got kicked in the head.

I was 8, would hide out on the roof of the barn with a knife. Just knew if I died, somehow this nightmare would end.

I started cutting then. My mom caught me once, dragged me into the living room by my arm, blood going everywhere, called me a selfish piece of shit and told me to just knock it off.