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other days I cannot force myself to become vulnerable by changing clothes
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Grace, this is exactly how I often feel! I am so relieved to know that others experience this, too. When I struggle to bathe, it's often because I want to shower but can't bear to get undressed. A lot of times I'll wash my face and do my hair, then try to rely on perfume. I feel like a freak, but it's all I can manage some days.