This is what I am seeing and going to go out of my way not to take offence to those remarks. Considering my short fuse it is work!

You make it very clear often one of your biggest issues is nobody around. OK. So that is your major point of frustration and the "why me?" we all get. Why did that one die, why was I raped, why was I almost killed, why was I tortured, why was my innocence robbed... All the why me we all get.

But one benefit we mostly have here are families. What we all are guilty of, and I dare one of say we are not, is when we hit the bottom of the barrel emotionally and with what torments us and lash out who do we nail? Our spouse, those closest to us. So I think you having no one in your life and being angry about it and seeing us have it you hit the bottom and lashed out; at who? Those you know care about you and do what they can to support you, us... Your behavior is no different, you did lash out at your family and support system like we all do. Only difference I think is we get pissed about it faster because it is nature of PTSD to get easily upset.

We are all not in this deep of a cess pool at all times, we do have bright moments. Mine today... I took a shower. It was so much for me to get up there and do. What about you typing about some of the ups in your life and what you did that was good? No matter how tiny, it is a step in the direction you need to go to start appreciating yourself, and once you can do that others can't help but appreciate you in return. You may not think a shower is something to party about, but I bet if you had to sit next to my depressed stinky ass you would!