Wow,
Went to 'girls night' last night for our street. Theresa, a very boisterous (especially when she's drinking) property owner here was talking about a rural cluster housing project on our street that Merle (a former client of mine) is doing.

Theresa was espousing to everyone at the table 'what a nice guy Merle is.' I came back with, 'well, I don't care for him. He asked me to change my scientific evaluation of a different project he was doing so he could take the 'falsified' data to the County and put in the road where he wanted it to go, through more wetlands, hence having more impact. He intimidated me to do this for him.'
Theresa shot back with, "Well, that's the way it is and you just need to get over Terri. He is a nice guy."

I said nothing. Yet later in the evening I found myself becoming angry. Felt victimized and bullied yet again.

Well, carried it around last night, had to take a Klonopin to even sleep, which I haven't had to do in a long time. Woke up this morning, shaking, angry, tired of being pushed around.

So I just called her and told her that what she did last night felt like 'bullying' to me. I also said, that my experience with Merle pointed to a lack of character, selfishness, unethical behavior, and putting profits over what's rght and legal. I suggested she examine the fact that he appears 'nice' to her because her brother is purchasing one of the lots.

My voice was shaking the whole entire time. I've sort of known that Theresa might not be a safe person, so I was prepared for an attack.

Instead, she explained she's had three martinis and was moving to the point that the development was going to happen, no matter what, and the lake community just needed to get over it.
I let her know, this seemed entirely like a plausable explanation and accepted it. I also let her know, that I'd been disturbed by her bad behavior and just had to call and clean things up............for my own benefit.

I'm so sick of dealing with bullying and just sitting there and taking it, later to carry it around and build anger, resentment, and hurt.

I think this was a big step. Wish I can get to the point when I can do it 'on the spot' but it seems that I don't even realize I'm being treated badly until, sometimes days or months later! I'm so used to it! It's so familiar.

I feel I had a success..........but Boy, it is agonizing for me to confront and stand up for my rights. I just hate to have to do it. But I'm getting better. I still don't think I'll ever like it. It makes me shiver in my boots...........