Well, I was right, I'm in a raging panic/anxiety attack.

But I am so proud of how I handled myself going to the SPCA and turning my beautiful kitty over to them. Of course, before it was over I was crying, but I managed to keep it under control until I got home. Much to my surprise I've yet to break down. I am numb. Totally numb. I am so dam sad. My heart is aching-----guess I'm not as numb as I thought I was. But no tears yet.

I know in my heart I've done the right thing for all concerned. Any question about that was answered by the way my other 2 cats are changing. They are relaxed. No pacing. Didn't realize they were pacing til they stopped. They are fine. Mom is fine. I on the other hand, well, I'm a wreck.