When that woman has walked in my shoes, when she has felt my pain, cried my tears, bled my blood and lost every thing that was anything...including her sanity...

When she has crawled, twisted and broken out of my hell...out of my black hole...in order to face the sun again...

Then maybe...just maybe (but probably not) she can tell me to get over it.

I have been numb for a very long time (most of my life). It has been work...just to get to a point where I could feel...anything. And then it was more work to get to a point where I could feel like I was worthy enough to have them.

Denying my past...pretending like it was not there and did not have an affect on me, change me or have a part in making me who I was and am...in essance trying to "just get over it" almost killed me. More than once in fact. It is only by looking at...by grieving and by learning to accept it have I been able gain some sense of self. Why would I ever want to go back?