Right on time. For the first time in over twenty years I am even considering a relationship. I'm terrified. I don't trust myself. I've given up on trying to understand people. It's like a game I never learned the rules about. I've had so many people walk all over me.

I know I'm not good at setting boundaries. I know I am too generous and nice. I treat others how I would like to be treated, but it is not often reciprocated. Maybe I don't 'demand' it. I'm trying to figure it out and find the balance.

I had a crush on a guy at work. We did some things on the outside of work and had fun. I was one of the first people he called when he got a girlfriend. UGH! I was crushed. He is a great guy and friend. That is what it will always be I guess. Hopefully there is another Rocky out there somewhere.

I've talked to my therapist about it. Other than doing nice things for Rocky and doing social things I think I didn't show my interest because I don't know how to be intimate or send the cues. Damn this is hard sometimes.