I just got off the phone with BB. He started to tell me about some of his nightmares. Killing people and so forth. I reminded him that I know all about how violent his nightmares are, I slept beside him. He mused at how long he'd been having them, like they had only just started because there seem worse. The poor thing has been working 10 hour days on 2 hours sleep. He's been drinking to get to sleep too. We had a discussion about self medicating Vs Alcoholism, I think he may already realise they are pretty much the same thing. I also told him about this forum. He reacted cynical at first, because he does not have compassion for himself, he thinks of anyone like himself, in a similar situation as a freak. Then about 10 minutes later, after it had settled in, he told me he thinks it's a good thing, for some understanding " he guesses", since it's anonymous etc. I briefly disccussed my new friends Shoshin and Spirit. Particularly Shoshin as you both seem identical (BB even wants to join the Army when he gets out here, much to my disapproval -- its a discussion being with held to post residency approval). I just wanted him to know how amazing I think he is, that if he's a freak, then freaks are good, coz I love them. He kind of joked " So there is a whole forum for psychos like me?" to which I said "Yep, and I've already made cyber mates with two of them".

We had a good laugh. His next goal is working out how to call me rather than "falling down" into the booze. But today being St Patrick's day he claims his blood being Irish that he has to "do it for his people". Which was meant to be a joke I think...