Cowgirl, my fiance is the same way. His nightmares were really bad and violent in the beginning of our relationships. Mostly from being overseas (he was in infantry) and he was also in a horrible marriage. When I go to wake him up he was grab me as if I were the person attacking him. Don't ever yell... I learned from that mistake! I just gently take his hands off me and hold his arms down the best I can and get him to wake up. Most of the time he doesn't know where he's at or anything. It takes him a little bit to get out of it but then he tells me over and over again that he had a really bad dream and then he'll tell me about it most of the time. I just tell him it is alright now he is safe and I'm there for him. Some of his nightmares he thinks someone is coming to attack me so he'll start shouting in his sleep and then he'll roll over and cuddle me so night I can barely move. I just keep saying no one is there it's just me and everything is fine.

I think the most important thing is to tell them they are safe just like Cindy suggested. They need to know the enemy is not there. I try to hold Chuck right away but sometimes he doesn't like to be touched. It just depends how they are going to handle things right after the night mares. Hope this helps!