I think part of what you are describing is paranoia, and negative thinking. Common among us, and very frustrating.

For me, I had to try and stop the negative thought pattern, and for the paranoia, I used my gut feelings, instead of my thought pattern. This worked for me.

Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones, or try to change the thoughts so that they aren't negative. I know confusing to explain this.

It takes time, it takes a lot of work to do this, and it's something that I have to keep up, or the negative paranoid thoughts can and will creep in, when I am stressed out...

Hope this helps...