I've always struggled with the feeling/concept/defining of love.

Love to me seems to be something that has to be earned and easily lost. Lost when you don't do enough for that person.

I feel confused about what love means and how it's supposed to feel, as it was not something traught/shown/given when I was young.

This is a definition I found and wrote in my journal which has help me.

We come to understand love as something chaotic, dramatic, and often painful..something we had to give up our own dreams and desires for....Loving behaviour doesn't grind you down, keep you of balance, or create feelings of self-hatred. Love doesn't hurt, it feels good. Loving behaviour nourishes your emotional well being. When someone is being loving to you, you feel accepted, cared for, valued, and respected. Genuine love creates feelings of warmth, pleasure, safety, stability, and inner peace!