Q - What's the difference between an attorney and a pitbull?
A - the suit

Q - What do you call 5,000 dead attorneys?
A - A good start

Q - How many attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A - How many can you afford?

Q - What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A - A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in a quiet little cafe when a fairy appeared before them. The fairy said that because they had been such a loving and picture-perfect couple for so long, she would grant them each a wish. First, she asked the wife what she wished for. The wife said she would like to travel the world with her loving husband. The fairy waved her wand and "Poof" presented the wife with 2 tickets to the Queen Mary II and a check for one million dollars. The fairy then turned to the husband and asked him to make a wish. Since he saw that the fairy was real and that his wish really could be granted, he said, "I wish I had a woman 30 years younger than me."

Another wave of the wand and "poof" he was 98 years old.