Geez,

Woke up this morning remembering how my Mom and b*tch sister stopped by on a 'surprise' visit when I was 20. I was tending bar in a popular place in Oregon. It was late afternoon, so not that many people in there, thank heaven.

I was actually sort of proud I was working in this 'hip' place. My Mom walked in, started screaming at me, telling me what a loser I was, slapped my face in front of everyone and said,"You're never going to be anything but a stinking waitress."

I slunk away in shame and started washing glasses. They left town.

Then, 23, moved out to be an innkeeper at a really nice B&B on the coast with my boyfriend at the time. Mom & Dad stopped by in their RV from their travels, piece of crap RV, they were always poor. I got them the honeymoon suite to stay in for a night, trying to be a good daughter.

Dad walked in it and said immediately, "This is so f*cking stupid fancy, who f*cking needs it." Turned around and went back to the RV with Mom. Showed his self esteem, really. I had no idea what to say to the owners.........

The next day, just couldn't deal I guess. Was completely numb, not even functioning really. Barely remember grabbing a blanket and walking out the back door of the inn. I went into the sand dunes, curled in a fetal position under some scrub in a depressional area, and just lie there until sundown, shaking. Then came back. Everyone had been wondering where I went. My father said something like, "always a quitter, like I thought."