Wow, Cowgirl, that brought tears to my eyes... that is exactly it, you said it perfectly.
Thank you. : ] I would love to know more about your horses and riding. I will say more when I am not so emotional, right now I am nearly speechless that someone here 'gets it'. :`]

I would love to share with everyone here about a new therapy involving horses, it is recommended for a host of disorders, PTSD included, and for kids and adults. We are thinking of trying this w/the oldest stepson, as we are at a deadend with him.

I am going now to see my horse Zevon, and when I return to the forum I will explain it in more detail. Horses not only built this country, but civilization itself, and I have spent the last almost 2 yrs fighting their inhumane slaughter in the US for human consumption overseas. Very, very, emotional and maybe not best for me to have gotten so involved
with, but after learning about the practice there was no way I could turn away and not be a part of the other thousands of people going up against the Gov and big money, and basically being ingnored, about this that for the last 10 yrs the others have been fighting. People just didn't know, but they know now! It is now my commited cause to see through. I will tell you more privately if you want to know, or don't know, it could be very upsetting to anyone, mush less PTSD sufferers.

Things are going much better than David, I just freaked when he told me he had given up without ever beginning to really try to understand. But neither can I understand what it is like for him to work 2 jobs every day of the week but one, which is a big part of the strain between us, but it is a necessity for us to survive. He did take the last week and this week off to be here at night to buffer some of the screaming and violence of the children from me, thank him and thank God! I do recognize that as a form of support, yay! But I am still 'in it' and hearing it, etc..
I think he is ready, and would rather be, LOL, back on the second job! Then it will all be back on me, so I have to be really strong and tolerant, but not complacent for a moment. Very hard for 'me'. You see, I ma both a 'carer' of reactive attachment sufferers, and then a sufferer myself of PTSD & MDD [major depressive disorder. So I have some vison of it from both sides.

I am taking care of the barn where I board for the next couple of days, which I think I will find very cathartic.

Thank you so much for your post Cowgirl, and for this thread. It does me a world of good to know someone understands the incredible value of these animals, and your words surely give great explaination to all others here.

I can't wait to tell more about the therapy, are we allowed to post links, anyone?

all the best~
april