That really sucks JustJane.....so sorry. I went through a similiar thing. When we 'come out' people treat us like we are the plague or something.

You are not experiencing pity, you are grieving. Many people have laid the 'self pity' trip on me and I took it on, keeping me stuck.....Finally got into therapy and realize they were all so friggen wrong and had no compassion what so ever.

When we heal, more and more, we will have true friends. People like to just think about their own crap, can't handle the intensity of our stuff.