Upstream I agree with your definition and if it seems like love is co-dependent to you, then that is what it probably is to you.

But if I can look death in the face and say, "Take me, not my child or husband". That is love, not co-dependent because I wouldn't be here anymore to depend on them.

I can say to the evils of the world, "Hurt me not my child or husband". That is love. I'm certain I could do this for the ones I love because this life (not that I want to leave it any time soon) has been hard one me and I will leave in hopes they survive.

My husband and kids have not suffered in the way I have, and they deserve a chance to live life and be able to find the beauty in it all without all of the ugly, tainted shit.

Peace
Tammy