Hi Velveteen. Wow you just cant seem to get a break can you. Isnt it crazy how one event can lead to a lifetime of BS. Its like a person feels so much shame, and confusion, and guilt over something... and it leads to other behaviors that eventually become out of control. The next think you know, your life is spiraling downward and you have no idea how to fix it. It sounds to me like you have PTSD and what sucks about it is that usually your only accepted within your circle of friends. People without it just dont understand. They just want you to suck it up and get over it. Screw that. Id like to see them go through a trama and then try their whole lives to A, figure out whats wrong with them, and B, try to be normal again when they do figure out whats wrong. We are all here for you. And we arent going to judge you. So if your post is long or short or happy or sad or depressed or mad... its okay. WE all have been there. feel free to say whatever you need. PTSD is all about healing.